Letter To Dad: Father’s Day 2017

Well, well, look what we have here – your daughter finally taking the time to reconnect. I figure the timing is appropriate given what day it is, and there are so many things that I’ve been meaning to tell you.

… but I guess we’ll just start with the only major two things.
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Letter to Dad: Happy Father’s Day.

Hey you, Happy Fasha Day!

I’ve honestly been dreading this day for so long, anticipating the hardship that I would face knowing that everyone out there is celebrating with their “World’s Greatest Dad”. I was unsure how I would feel about the holiday and didn’t want to find out.

Unfortunately life and calendar days do go on and, of course, I had no choice but to face it like a champ. Turns out that I was okay. I am okay. Of course it sucks that we’ll never have our luncheons again, but now I can celebrate in a different way – a celebration of what was once an amazing soul. Also just knowing that you’re still here with me in spirit, that’s more than enough I could ever ask for.

Happy Father’s Day to not only the dads that are still around today, but to those individuals that had lost their best friend as well ❤

Letter to Dad: Rest in Paradise, Bailey.

The only thing worse than you leaving is also Bailey leaving as well.

I know what you’re thinking, “the hell you give me the dog for??”

Answer is simple, you like this dog.

All jokes aside, please, and I know you will for me, take great care of her. Even you knew she was my whole world. It just sucks our time was so short lived. There were so many adventures awaiting for us, but time decided to cut it short. Even though it really wasn’t anyone’s fault, I still put all blame on me. If there was just a way to go back to prevent it all, I would in a heartbeat. You never know the feeling of losing the two things that took part to make your heart a whole until life decides to play such silly games.

I love you, Bailey Pup. I’m so sorry that things had to end up like this – I wish I could change everything that happened. I’ll never forget you.

Don’t forget about me either ❤

Letter To Dad: My 24th.

Huh, who knew 24 years would come this fast? Your little girl isn’t so little anymore – mid 20’s dude!

I honestly dreaded this day a lot when it was around the corner. I remember that we’d celebrate my birthday – just the two of us out to lunch. I missed that. Just in general. A lot.

I didn’t really do much though. I had work that day – closing shift, may I add of course. Did I mention that I have some awesome coworkers? I walked in the store and they all brought out cupcakes and a bouquet of balloons. Also one of the kitchen staff members came in on his day off to drop off yet more balloons and a cake. So sweet of him.

Yes, that does say “Happy Birthday Manager” lmao.

It was a Sunday, so we got out of there at a decent time and just had some friends over the house. Some of them even said hi to you when they walked in.

Some coworkers were there until around 1 since they all are kids in college, but my Stockton crew crashed for the night. We didn’t pass out til super late because we all got the drunken munchies and went to Jack In The Box.

I think you were playing a role in my conscience (like always) and holding me back since I woke up with no problems/no hangover whatsoever. Darn you haha.

Well here’s me – 24, living comfortably with no financial struggles with a roof over my head and some food on my plate. At least that is one less thing for you to worry about.

… but I am currently reevaluating life with a potential change of future. Time to start making some decisions.

That’s another letter for next time.

Letter To Dad.

Hey dad, how’s the afterlife? What’s it like up there? Are you and CJ having a great time?

Me? Well I’m doing the usual – working like a responsible adult. I thought I’d quickly jot down some things for you to catch up on since I know you’re definitely traveling through cyber space somehow.

One thing I want to mention is that by given the struggles and the cost, the family decided that we’re going to sell the house, which I don’t blame them – too many memories are held in there. It’s beginning to hurt too much. Kyle and I decided to pay our last visit before it’s gone late this month.

As you can see, a great majority of stuff has already been taken out. The family divided some things amongst themselves. I also took what I needed and what I could use.

I also called dibs on the couch, your coffee table you made, and your desk. Don’t worry – all your phones, tablets, the desktop, and your camera are definitely safe with me.

I also took a lot of kitchen stuff. You know you’re an adult when you get TOO excited over kitchenware.
The one thing I knew I had to snag were your pie plates. They definitely came in handy for Thanksgiving. Thank you for that.

My room is almost complete. I grabbed the last of my stuff there and whatever I don’t want will remain with the house.

The middle room is still the way it was – cluttered and untouched.

Your room was my project too. I took everything I needed to keep and what I wanted to save. I even took some clothes of yours and I’m thinking about making something out of them. It’s still undecided on what I want to do, but they’re in boxes for now.

I still have to come back for the car soon, but I knew that if I didn’t take a day to really say goodbye, I’ll never get that closure. It was tough, but I had to do it for my sake.

I miss you a lot. There’s been so many things that I want to tell you about, but then I realize once again. But this will have to do for now. The messages will get through to you somehow.

Well I just wanted to let you know the current situation. Until our next chat, I’ll have some stories for you.

~ Lexi

Note: I’m thinking about making this a ongoing post just for my personal reasons. It may look or sound weird to do, but sorry not sorry (: